Miserable

Shit happens. I always end up not saying what I feel because I'm trying not to hurt anyone by any means. It's just not what I'm good at.

I have to admit that i like to keep things to myself.

And at the end of the day I would drown in my own thoughts.

It can be ultimately suffocating.

That I need to spill it somehow.

Being clingy and needy is not all about me.

I believe in the fact that we should not burden any one with our problems.

But it would be really helpful if there is someone who is willing to listen to all the rants.

I wonder how it feels to end it now?

Can i live with that?

No one knows.

Sure as hell it would tear me down.

Somehow I'm grateful for our little infinities.

Emotion

People said that it is better not to trust someone completely..

Because if that person break your trust it would not hurt you that much.

I have a lot of thing that keep on bugging my mind.

They may have been really heavy if they can ever be weighed.

I'm truly afraid of the future.

I'm just hoping that it won't break me apart.

This is rubbish anyway.

I do have a say.

You're mine.

So it is true that women do overthink...a lot to be honest..
The bad thing about overthink is that you always end up worrying about unneccessary stuffs. Like it does not happen actually. Ughhh

I will try to understand you forever...i will

Blank page.

That is the right words to describe my mind right now.

Why does it feels so empty? 

Guess it's so stuffed with biology facts and all.

In the next two days, i'll be sitting for a one hour biology test.

I think that it's kinda ironic that you study so hard like really hard (not that hard tbh..more like smart..okay i lied) to sit for such short test.

But i can never underestimate the power of such test since it contributes marks for the end semester examination. 

Not scoring good marks in the short test would make you suffer in the end exam soon because you will need a solid A for the final papers to cover up the bad marks due to the short test. 

Carry-forward marks can give a huge impact actually.

So that's the part that scared me the most. 

There is time when you are so focus that everything seems to be gone.

All the things that you memorized, learnt and practices..they are all gone. 

There are times when you feel the doubt is building inside you,

There are times when you feel the world is all yours,

There are times when you feel that you could not stand any longer,

There are times when you feel like giving up,

Nonetheless there are always things that hold you from breaking apart.

Today's book-Twilight The Graphic Novel Volume 1

Twilight The Graphic Novel Volume 1 ! A very good headstart for my holiday I would say. I finished reading it only in few hours. It's like you're reading and watching the story at the same time. It brought back the memory I first had when I first read the series back then. Highly recommended for all the twilight lovers out there. Can't wait to get my hands on the volume 2 book. Here's a few reviews on what is inside the graphic novel.

Believe

Doubting yourself is a normal thing to happen. Feeling inferior is normal too. I should always keep in mind that everything in life is never easy. That when I choose to take this road, my whole life will change. I shouldn't give up before trying. I need to climb every stair towards the top. I must empower myself with every knowledge that I can gather. I must believe in myself that I am going to get what I want.

Chance

The moment when I was still struggling to fit in, I was given another choice. A gift from Allah. This is all I ever wanted for so long. Now the chance lay in front of me waiting to be grabbed. Thinking about every possibility, I chose to grab the chance. Telling myself it won't happen twice. I chose the road to my dream, my goal. To Allah I pray that He will guide me in every step that I take towards success.

Us

How far can we get together? To where are we heading? How long can we spend time with each other? Unpredictability.

Renew

There is nowhere I could go with this self doubt wave that has hit me for the past few days. I am going to renew myself. To learn to throw away the things that have been holding me back. I need to strive harder. Perceiving the thought that I haven't give in enough kicked me straight into reality. This is just how the world works. It's just a matter of moving on or you'll stay wherever you're standing now years ahead and watch people you know achieve what they have been looking for. I don't want to be pitied for being in the same level and not gaining anything. This is the turning point of my life. I need to make it works the right way.

foundation studies

It’s been quite a long time since i posted my last entry. It’s been almost one month, wait i think it’s already one month since i enrolled myself at pasum. To begin with, life here is...ermm. It’s not that bad but my schedule is packed though. I’m still trying to conform to the new milieu. Talk about class, I got a place in the top group following the result of our English placement test before. I keep telling myself that it wasn't all about the English test. Surely they won’t just split us into group based on that test ONLY. Do they? Well I feel like the stupidest in the group regardless how good my result turned out to be. I mean those boys and girls in my group own amazingly superb background in academic. Not that I don’t but I feel defeated in many ways. My confident level was dragged to the bottom line. I know I shouldn't give in to this kind of emotion. Nonetheless I just can’t ignore it. I regretted taking the test seriously.  Frankly speaking, I don’t like being in that circle. It drives me crazy thinking about how I am going to survive to the top among the top students. I don’t want to be left behind. I need to use every will to be on top because even when I fall, it will only be a few steps behind. Stress has taken it tolls on me. I am only hoping that everything will be just smooth and fine and I can live my gaily life like I used to before. Deep inside, i know that i can do this. i can survive. because that is what I've been doing all along for the past few years. only this time it's going to be harder. oh god i sound like katniss the girl from the hunger games book when she's chosen to be in the arena. Lol. 

-_-

Kadang-kadang susah jugak nak terima apa yang orang kata. Or is it just my nature? I don't know. But sometimes apa yang orang kata tu ada betulnya. Jadi terima jelah for my own good.

Senior year

It's been a couple of months since I finished high school. Senior year is the most unforgettable moment of every student's life I think. So did I! Despite struggling to adapt to the hectic environment due to the important public exam, I put extra effort in spending quality times with my fellow friends. It's the year where we created most of the memories that we couldn't possibly forget till we're old. All the sweetest memory will always be reminisce again and retold in the future which makes it even more precious. 

Maple leaves

I think most girl prefer roses. Some of them like lavender or maybe lilies. But as for me I love the maple leaves. It's not like I totally hate roses or lavender or lilies. It just that they are too common I guess. It's not something rare to find a girl who loves roses so much.

Travelling

Someday I want to travel around the world. I want to go for a walk on the Trift's bridge in Switzerland. I want to spend my time watching the water rush down from the Niagara waterfall. I want to discover the monuments in Rome. I want to get on the double decker bus in London. I want to shop in NYC. I want to see the place where the Hobbit's movie was cast in New Zealand. And most of all I want to do that with my love one.

World without boundaries

The world is getting creepy these days I supposed. We share almost everything about our life with people around the world in spite of not knowing each other via the social networking such as facebook and twitter. Updating our current news which include our personal life and other stuffs. Frankly speaking I think there are things that we should and shouldn't tell the community. Well basically it's for our own safety. Posting our pictures on the web could be dangerous too. We never know if someone could possibly misuse our pictures for something that is really really bad. So just put in our mind a piece of advice that we should be careful of what we're sharing with the world. It's the norm of being part of the world without boundaries